Snooki

The latest news and gossip involving celebrity Snooki.

JWoww Thinks She is the King of the Jews.

For those of you unfamiliar with Biblical zingers, I mean to say it looks like JWoww is pretending be Jesus, what wearing her crown of thorns and whatnot.But blasphemy aside, I am really concerned for JWoww. Her lower back can\'t possibly be in good shape with a rack that huge. Someone really needs to tell her to get to a chiropractor, stat. ... [Full Story]

JWoww Was in a Bikini. ... Snooki, Too.

Is Snooki pregnant? ... I cannot express just how much I don\'t care or don\'t know. The internet seems to think she is, but I\'d rather not put Snooki and insemination together. The two were in Cancun, getting even more sun (they\'re advocates of skin cancer, apparently) and showing off their fake body parts. I won\'t complain, because JWoww is like a Frankenstein creature made of Emmanuelle ... [Full Story]

This is Humanity in 10 Years

It has become apparent to me that the end of days is really, really nigh. Snooki, the orange midget on \"Jersey Shore,\" recently talked to GQ about how reading \"isn\'t her style.\" And to think, children actually watch this show. Bye, bye, humanity. I hope we all die in a fire. GQ: So, I\'ve got to ask: You\'ve really never heard of J.K. Rowling or Maya Angelou? Snooki: I don\'t read. I ... [Full Story]

HOLY CRAP, Snooki Kicks Major A**

... I officially take back anything awful I\'ve ever said about Snooki. At Wrestlemania 27, she pulled off a cartwheel-body splash onto Michelle McCool, effectively winning the match for her tag-team. And if you don\'t know what a cartwheel-body splash is... she flipped over repeatedly across the ring and slammed into her opponent. Yes, she is that athletic. Yes, her team won. Yes, I am now ... [Full Story]

Oh Gag - Snooki\'s Valentine

Oh Lord, who let Snooki near a camera? SOMEONE careless, because apparently Snooki and her boyfriend Jionni LaValle posed for Valentine\'s day pictures recently in a hotel in Los Angeles. I just hope that anyone that receives this card won\'t have a heart attack. ... [Full Story]

Snooki Can\'t Add

It looks like Snooki from \"Jersey Shore\" finally decided to be a big girl and open up a bank account. Seeing that the dwarf is making about 30k an episode... that is officially the FIRST thing about Snooki that makes sense. But that gets immediately negated by the fact that film crews are attempting to make something out of Snooki learning how to live: According to the documents, obtained ... [Full Story]

Snooki Has a Real Name?

The fame, fortune, glorious sex and complete lack of people making fun of her has finally bored Snooki. She is sick of her famous moniker and wants to go back to her real ... ... wait, she isn\'t Snooki by birth? According to the AP: The reality TV star says the moniker that helped make her famous has gotten a little old and she misses her name. \"I miss my real name. I miss people calling ... [Full Story]

Please Tell Me She is Stuck in There

If this orange midget somehow found a way to get outside of her plastic death-ball, I am going to be very disappointed. And if anyone actually rang in the New Year by watching Snooki descent from above like a fat, over-tanned moon, then I actually feel sorry for you. And I have a lifetime supply of Doritos in my pantry. Which is actually a broomcloset. In my basement. ... [Full Story]

Snooki Needs to be Stopped

It\'s shockingly fitting to see Snooki acting exactly like what she is... a tramp. She was acting out the famous scene from \"Lady and the Tramp\" with some guido boyfriend. So I guess it\'s better that she is doing this than fist pumping or GTL runs... because if I see anything like that ONE more time, I will tan myself orange and start partying in awful Jersey nightclubs. Because that is ... [Full Story]

Snooki Wants to Hang with Willow Smith

First things first: why do the Smiths insist on ruining the name of their famous children? Jaden? Willow? We get it. They have names kind of like their opposite-sex parents. Har de har. Snooki reached a new level of uber pathetic when she posted a video of herself rockin\' out to Willow Smith\'s song about hair flipping. I\'m not 100% sure what \"Whip Your Hair\" is about... but I\'m almost ... [Full Story]

Snooki is Hooked on Phonics

Not only is Snooki doing her best to learn how to read (what a trooper!) but she is also apparently hooked on eating jelly donuts, since she appears to be the approximate weight of a blue whale. Which a lot. I\'d be more interested in watching \"The Jersey Shore\" if the entire cast wasn\'t so ugly. JWoww is the best and even she gets a little too trashy for me sometimes. And that\'s saying ... [Full Story]

Snooki Pleads Not Guilty and For Cheeseburgers

Snooki just pled not guilty to the three charges following her arrest on July 30 in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. (On the boardwalk for probably finding a way to impregnate a baby.) Snooki is facing misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct (AKA drunk in front of knitting grandmothers), creating a nuisance and annoying people at the beach (like said knitting grandmothers). Snooki plans ... [Full Story]