Just in case you were wondering, Cindy Crawford is over 40-years-old (41 to be precise), and she is still smokin' hot.

Way back in the day when I was a little kid, when people used to ask me who I wanted to marry when I got older, I would just say "Cindy Crawford," even though I honestly had no idea who she was. Most older people, like friends of the family and such, they would let out a chuckle shortly followed by a "me too, son... me too."

That's when you know you're hot. When little kids who have never seen you before in their lives want to marry you because they immediately associate your name with "beautiful woman" because their tiny little unformed frontal lobes have been conditioned to do so.

If such a skill doesn't have "Cougar of the Day" written all over it, I don't know what does. So, you guessed it kids.... Cindy Crawford is our official Cougar of the Day!

Cindy, a little golden cougar statue has been shipped to your home, so when the DHL guy comes to your house with a strange package... don't be alarmed this time... it's nothing weird... it's just your away.

Not that I've sent any weird things to Cindy before from my home address... like strange sexual things and pictures of myself in my ballet leotard... nothing like that... nope, never.

Anyway, if you don't believe that Cindy is one hot older woman and that's pretty much all that you need to meet the criteria to be an official COUGAR here on CelebParasite.

So here Cindy is, being mega hot in a silvery dress at the GQ 50th Anniversary Party in Cedar Lake, NY on Tuesday to show that even today, she's one of the hottest women out there.

Today is a good day. Thank you childhood memories of Cindy Crawford!

Heather Locklear used to simply be a hot tramp. Now, she's old and clearly sexually frustrated as she walks around teasing everyone who caught her pulling her dress up while she was out buying flowers the other day. And to be honest, I like this Heather even better!

It's as though Heather is tempting all of us to go where no one... scratch that... where many random men have probably gone... considering she's an old 45-year-old tramp.

That reminds me, many people would mistake 45-years-old for an age that confirms that Heather is past her physical prime... not me! I see a 45-year-old like that and I just hear the words "sexual prime" screaming in my head.

Not to mention with rockers Richie Sambora and Tommy Lee (who have both married and divorced Heather) having hit that several times back in the day, you know that Heather is just itching for another go at her wild past.

That's where I come in. Hi Heather, I'm Ace. I like long walks on the beach and older women who have spent most of their careers on the sets of crap soap operas that aired when I was a kid and somewhat successful T.V. series like Spin City.

So, Heather, you're basically my dream girl.

However, knowing that my dream girl in high school started pretending to talk to me in public only after I promised I would drive her Down's syndrome little brother to school, I figured that bribery would be the route to go with you as well. So, Heather, I present to you, The Cougar of the Day award!

If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Heather's dress hitting the floor as we speak!

Funny, same thing works with little girls and cotton candy. Sorry, I've gone to far.

Anyway, check out Heather being old and naughty all at once.

Over 43 years ago, in a land far, far away, what would become one of the most naturally beautiful cougars in the world was born.

Let me see if I can re-create the setting of this wonderful moment in history for you...

It was the year of 1964. Australia, at the time, was a vast land mainly inhabited by a few wallabies, a couple of kangaroos, and of course, a handful of native Aborigines... scary little fellows they were.

It was a quiet March afternoon. The sun was strong, the land was still, and one woman's womb beheld one of the greatest female specimens to ever exist.

That womb belonged to the mother of a young Elle Macpherson, who, legend has it, even before the actual birth, was kicking around in her mother's tummy with a full 6-foot-long gazelle-like frame.

When the specimen exited the womb, numerous villagers from the farrest corners of Australia came to see the phenomenon which would later become nicknamed "The Body." Clearly, the name speaks for itself.

At 183 centimeters tall, which converts into exactly six feet, Elle Macpherson is one tall glass of water.

Scratch that, one tall glass of COUGAR. And at 43-years-old, she was still lookin' oh so delicious as she frolicked along the beaches of Australia this past weekend.

Thus, today, Elle Macpherson becomes the first Australian-born recipient of CelebParasite.com's "Cougar of the Day" award.

So, everyone, throw one more shrimp on the Bar-B and raise up a nice tall glass of Foster's, for Elle Macpherson is our official cougar of the day!

Today is a good day. Thank you, Cronulla, New South Wales, Australia!

You know, I never knew that August 21st was such an important day. Not only was Hayden "I'm Not Just Hot, I'm Legal Now Too" Panettiere born on this day, but eons and eons ago, another sexually-arousing starlette was born.

That's right, fifty-one whole years ago today, the essence of Kim Cattrall made the transition from embryo to full-fledged baby all the way over in Liverpool, England.

Anyway, it must be a blessing from God Himself that both Hayden and Cougarific Kim were born on the same day.

I mean, this is a big event... we're talking about probably the hottest "barely-legal" finally turning legal today and one of the longest active celebrity Cougars in the world adding another year of sexual experience under her belt.

It's as though Kim is the Ying to Hayden's Yang, and August 21st as a whole is the big black and white circle thingy that holds the two phenomena together as one!

In fact, TMZ had their readers vote for their preference between the young and vivacious Hayden or the experienced and sensuous Kim... and at this point, it's a stalemate, fifty-fifty!

As for Me, well, although I appreciate the recognition of how glorious this day is in terms of celebrity sexiness, I feel that all the voting nonsense is all for nothing.

These two girls can't be compared. It's like asking if you would prefer cotton candy and a knobber on the ferris wheel or an elegant dinner and an invite upstairs. Neither is better than the other, they're just unique manifestations of the same intangible, over-arching, fundamental goodness in life!

One thing I am sure of though is that at age 51, Kim Cattrall is sexy both in body and in soul... and that, my friends, can only mean one thing...

You guessed it, kids. Kim Cattrall, born fifty-one years ago on this day, is undoubtedly our official "Cougar of the Day."

Congratulations Kim, I'll be over shortly to give you your award... personally... if you know what I mean... BAAAABBBYYY!!!

Today is a good day. Thank you Liverpool, England.

With the recent sexually provocative Badgley and Mischka fashion ads featuring Teri Hatcher having been released the other day, I feel that it would be an injustice for Teri to go on living one more day in her current "Cougar of the Day Award"-less state.

Teri has been undeniably Cougar-licious for years now and at age 42, she's finally getting what she's always lived for (I'm sure).

So, from this moment forward, this smokin' hot Desperate Housewife is an official "Cougar of the Day" award-recipient. The world is now complete.

I'll tell you what... I wouldn't mind showing Teri my "Badgley Mischka!"

I actually like the sound of that.

I think I'm really going to start calling it that from time to time... even in an unrelated context.

Anyway, today is a good day. Thank you, Badgley Mischka!

I'll be honest with you guys, I've been waiting for this one. Demi Moore is by definition all that is cougar!

Not only is she an attractive older woman in her sexual prime, but she has been prowling for years with that Ashton Kutcher boy-toy of hers.

An odd match, some may say, but come on guys, admit it... after one-too-many That 70s Show episodes with the mischievous yet somehow innocent Kelso getting in and out of trouble, how could you not want to have sex with him!?!?

I was going places with that one that nobody wanted to see me go, wasn't I? I'll stop here. Sorry.

Moving on...

Where was I? Oh, yea... Cougars! Demi Moore is not just any old Cougar.

No, sir... Demi is the Cougar of all Cougars!

She's the Michael Jordan of the Cougar NBA...

She's the Michael Jackson of the Cougar entertainment world...

And she's the... the... Nathan Lane of Cougar Broadway shows!.. Sorry about that one. Again. Where is my head today, honestly!?!?

Anyway, you get the idea. Demi Moore is Cougar-ific and for that she is deserving of only one thing... you guessed it kids, The Cougar of the Day award!

Show her what she's won, Bob! Well, it's an all expenses paid tribute to her hotness with some recent pics over the past month or so that prove that even today she is still the hottest Cougar out there on the prowl!

Knowing that she was born on November 11, 1962 in Roswell... I can only thank you, New Mexico. Ahh, yes... New Mexico: Cleaner Than Regular Mexico!

Having given thanks to her place of birth, there's only one thing left to do, kids. I would just like to take a brief moment to thank GOD for those see-thru nipple shots down below!

Ok, you know what we need right now? Less me and more of her. So there you go! Check her out.

And now for those delicious see-thru nipple shots! Note that these are NSFW.

Despite the fact that every time I hear her name I immediately think of that damn stop-smoking gum, Nicollette Sheridan is ungodly hot.

While most 43-year-old women wear thigh-length khaki shorts to cover up their saddlebags and abnormally poofy foopas, Nicollette Sheridan walks around in skimpy see-thru white pants and is undeniably one of the hottest Desperate Housewives in Hollywood.

With such a repertoire, we at Celeb Parasite believe that Nicollette is deserving of some type of award, and the award that we feel suits her best is... you guessed it, kids... "The Cougar of the Day" award!

That's right, Nicollette Sheridan is our official Cougar of the Day!

And just in case you thought that age has finally caught up with her, check out these very recent candids of her dining at The Ivy this week!

... and this is why I'm a Cougar Hunter!